How to Make Solo Adventures a Priority: Lydia from My Adventure Gang

Tiffany 0:23
Welcome back, Stoke Fam! Today I am talking with Lydia from My Adventure Gang. She is a mom who grew up traveling with her family and is now passing on her love of adventure to her family. Some of her favorite things to do are hiking, camping, and backpacking in her home of New England, and she loves to encourage other families to treat every day like an adventure. And I love it because she really embodies that and totally shows us how she treats every day as an adventure with her family. So thank you for joining us, Lydia!

Lydia 0:48
Thank you so much for having me.

Tiffany 0:49
I’m so excited. So today, we’re diving into a topic that you might think is not related to family adventure because we are going to talk solo adventures…but hear me out. So I think that when we are parents, and especially moms, we’re so bad about taking care of everyone else first and not ourselves. And what that can lead to is mom burnout…planning all of this stuff, right, without taking the time to replenish ourselves and give ourselves the time. We need to recharge to be there and be active participants in our family instead of just going through the motions, right? And so I’m totally guilty of the same thing. I’m just really excited to have this conversation with Lydia because I’m hoping that I’ll get some tips from her to make this happen for myself. So I’m super excited to dive into this. But before we get into the topic, I would just love to know a little more about your story. So Lydia, can you share with us a little bit about how traveling and adventure became part of your life?

Lydia 1:43
Sure…if there’s one thing I can talk about for a long time, it’s traveling. I’m really lucky that my parents loved traveling, traveled before kids, and then continued to travel with us [my sisters and me] growing up long before travel blogs and online resources. But we loved to do that as a family. And we weren’t hikers or campers or outdoor adventures necessarily, but I fell in love with travel. And I think it was late high school; I did a couple camping trips and was rock climbing in a gym and kind of fell in love with that sort of outdoor adventure and pursued that a fair amount through college. As I was graduating college, I even thought I was going to be a wilderness guide in the West but ended up sticking around New England. But, I kind of put a lot of that adventure on hold to pursue a career – and actually a small business – for almost a decade. And it was around the time my son was born that I reconnected with nature and continue to fall in love with the outdoors through spending time outside as a family. Especially watching them interact with the natural world outside – you know, it’s just there’s so much magic in a little kid being outdoors, a puddle is incredible…sticks…a pile of rocks. Yeah, pine cone, really small pieces of outdoor adventure. That kind of anything can be an adventure with the right mindset.

Tiffany 3:22
Yeah, it’s that stuff that we kind of almost forget about as we get older, right? You kind of look right past, and then when you have a kid, all of a sudden, they’re just so absorbed with all the little things. And it’s really exciting to just see it through their eyes again and be like, Oh, yeah, that IS really cool.

Lydia 3:35
Absolutely. Have you ever looked at a ladybug?!

Tiffany 3:39
And how they’re all different?! Yes, exactly. Totally.

Lydia 3:44
I started really small with my son. We would spend half an hour in the backyard, or we’d go to a park or a local state conservation area after daycare pickup for 45 minutes. You know, not any backpacking trips or anything. As he’s gotten bigger and as my second one came along, and as they both gotten a little bigger and more capable on their own two feet, we’ve done a little bit more hiking together and done some camping trips. And last season, I took them on four backpacking trips. Well, they were all really short still, but it was four backpacking trips.

Tiffany 4:25
Awesome.

Lydia 4:26
Yeah. And they love it because it’s outdoor family time; they get to just be outside and run around and use their outside voices.

Tiffany 4:35
Yes, exactly. Do you notice that with your kids too – I don’t know about you – but I can tell when everybody has not been outside enough because the crankies start. Everybody gets so whiny. And then we go outside, and it’s suddenly like attitudes have a major adjustment. It’s just so nice for a reset.

Lydia 4:52
Yeah, we all get it. We all get a little punchy if we’re inside too long. Yeah.

Tiffany 4:56
That’s so true. So true. You also do solo long-term camping trips with them, too – two weeks last summer, right? That was a two-week camping trip?

Lydia 5:03
Yeah. Last summer. I mean, a lot of this has changed because of current circumstances, right? So we have spent a lot more time with them and had a lot more opportunity to spend time with them outside. Um, last summer, I think it was 12 days; I did a 12-day car-camping road trip alone with the two of them. And that was after – that wasn’t my first foray into camping alone with them. We did a couple weekends that were much closer to home, camping alone with them. And a couple of the one-night backpacking trips that I took were alone with them. Again, we tried out some camping first and then did some of those adventures. But yeah.

Tiffany 5:45
Yes. And I love how you’re showing right away. In all of these situations, it’s not like you just automatically jumped to, you know, backpacking for a five-night ordeal with your kids. It’s a gradual process of introducing them to more physical exertion with longer hiking trips. Then, slowly do the short backpacking trips and then, you know, car camping for longer times, and then slowly building it all in. It’s not like one day, you’re magically going to have a kid who’s never been hiking or camping and go on it and an eight-day backpacking trip. It’s all about expectations, right?

Lydia 6:16
Yeah. And even with the road trip, the first road trip I took with them was from where we are in New England to North Carolina; I think it was last January or February. We went to see some family. And so it was a 12-hour drive, which is a lot, but I broke it up into two days on the way down and stayed with a family friend. And then we stayed with family while we were down there, and then did the drive on the way back. But even then, we did plenty of day trips before that, where we were driving an hour and a half in the morning and an hour and a half in the evening and have the kids getting used to that sort of extended period of time in the car and then playing outside to burn off some energy and then extended time in the car on the way home.

Tiffany 6:58
Yes, I love that – gradually extending that time. That’s something we’ve always done too—our kids kind of learned from an early age to be in the car. You know, a couple years ago, we took a massive road trip down California’s coast and then back up through the National Forest. And so that was like 40 hours we did in 10 days. But we did not do that from the get-go. We had kind of acclimated them to car seats before that – exactly. I wouldn’t have attempted that when they were first learning to be in their car seat or whatever. Like that would have been a nightmare, probably for all of us to do one that long. To be quite honest, I probably would have lost it. I don’t know about them. But I would have lost.

Lydia 7:34
Right

Tiffany 7:35
Oh, I love that. It’s a gradual process for sure. I think that kind of leads us into our main topic for today. In order to do these things – and especially if you’re going without extra help, right? If you’re taking these trips by yourself with the kids sometimes too, there’s kind of a necessity that happens in taking care of yourself too, right? To be on for those kind of trips. So tell me, ever since you had kids and got married, have you done these solo adventures? Or is this something that you started more recently?

Lydia 8:02
Oh no. It’s very recent, and I’m the first person to admit that I’m generally terrible at identifying my own needs and taking care of them. Right? I can tell you the change in my kid’s voice that he’s hungry, right? I can tell you with one slightly different twitch that he’s got to go to the bathroom, but to identify what I need to be a happy, content whole adult person that’s part of a family is so hard. And it’s a learning process. You know, I’m the first person to bash on all the memes about a mom taking a shower – that’s not self-care, right? That’s a basic necessity. That’s not self-care.

Tiffany 8:43
No, it’s not.

Lydia 8:45
But at the same time to that’s what happens in my own life. Right. But it’s hard to carve out time for myself. And it’s hard to say that I’m that I deserve it and that it’s worthwhile. And that it’s a positive experience. And that it’s true for almost all outdoor adventure – or almost anything that you’re going to do with your kids. It takes a lot of work to set up. And when you’re in the process of setting it up and packing and planning and getting everything ready and getting people in the car – or whatever it is that you’re doing – you question, “Is all this work actually worth it?” Is it going to be worth it to put all this effort into whatever you’re doing? And then you get out there, and you’re like, Oh, of course, it’s worth it. It’s amazing. I should do this all the time. And then you get back, and you’re like, I have to do this all the time. And then you quickly forget that you need to do it all the time. And you need to do it to feel whole and to feel fulfilled. And then, you know, you start back at square one where you’re packing and or planning and organizing. It’s like, is this actually worth it? Is this going to be worth it?

Tiffany 9:52
Oh my goodness. Yes. I think you hit on so many good things there in that one little snippet. I just love that. But I think that whether it’s solo, whether it’s with kids, whether it’s a vacation, whether it’s a backpacking trip, whether it’s hiking, sometimes just for the day or going for snowboarding trips, there are so many times where I question, Is this worth it? Right? I think we all have those feelings. And then the moment you’re out there, you realize, yes, it is. But you’re exactly right. It is so easy to get wrapped up in that every time because it is work, right?

There are things you can do to make it easier. And I think the more you do it, the more and the more you are intentional about the process, you can streamline things. So it’s not as overwhelming. But it definitely does take work to do it. But I mean, most things that are worthwhile do. So yeah, you know, it’s not like everything comes easy all the time. And so I really love that you hit that point. And I think the other thing I really wanted to pull out that you said was we so often are like, do I deserve this. And I think that’s one of the key things as moms that we so often are like, but the kids need us or but so, and so needs us, and I have all these things to do at home, or I have, you know, all of these other people counting on me. But the thing is, we can’t be there for all those people if we don’t take the time. And I’m so guilty of this, but we do deserve it. And I love that you’re taking the time for this and making it happen. So I want to kind of dive into some of the logistics of how you’re making this happen. So I noticed that a lot of your adventures are early morning. And I have to admit that is not my primetime. I am not my happiest self first thing in the morning; I noticed that you do a lot of your adventures in the early morning; I’d love to hear a little bit more about that. Why you do that? If it’s more – it’s the only time I can make it happen. Or if it’s like I’m really a morning person.

Lydia 11:33
I don’t necessarily know if I’m really a morning person. So part of why I tend to leave really early is because it’s so much easier to get out of the house when the rest of my family is asleep. I don’t have to get everyone else ready. First, there’s not demands for my attention and time that I can just leave and then be out of the house. And then there is no, there’s no separating from my kids at the door either. I tell them that I’m doing it the night before. So they know; honestly, this is the only time that I’m ever not with them right now. Usually, just assume that I’m hiking. If I’m not at home.

One time I came back, and my almost five-year-old was like, “Were you at the grocery store or were you hiking?” I’m like – yep, those are the only two places that I go without you. For the most part, right now, I’m hiking in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, which tends to be about a two-hour drive away from my house. So I am leaving very early to get to the trailhead very early to hike for 4…5…6…7…8 hours and then drive two hours home. And I do need that time away from my kids. But I also like to see them on any given day. So if I leave at three o’clock in the morning, and get to the trailhead at five and then hike until noon, or one or two and then drive two hours home, I’m still home with an hour or two before dinner and for all of the bath time, bedtime routines and to tuck them in. And I’ve still managed to get 8,10, 12 miles in and a couple thousand feet of elevation gain. And I feel full. And I’ve also had that like there is something I find something peaceful about driving by myself, especially now that I am with my family all the time. And I know I’m not commuting to work, right. So I’m not anti that time, early morning.

Tiffany 13:29
You mean you can listen to your own music and podcasts without having to listen to the wheels on the bus for the 97,000th time??

Lydia 13:37
Or just in silence.

Tiffany 13:38
Sometimes my husband will be like, Hey, did you listen to this thing I sent you on the way home? Or if I was out for a few minutes, and I was like. No, I didn’t turn on anything. It was quiet. And I enjoyed every second of it. Sometimes that’s all I need is just a few minutes of absolute silence. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Totally. I love that you are doing these full-day adventures and taking the time. So your partner – is he the one that watches the kids when you are gone?

Lydia 14:05
Yeah, I mean, we’re lucky that I mean right now, he has regular weekends off. So we’ve generally I will say again that I started small and slow and was not making this a regular thing for a long time. I think the first hike that I did without my kids after having kids was in February of 2020. I went on a snowshoe hike in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with five or six other adventure moms. And, it was something that was planned on the books for two months in advance. I had the date marked on my calendar, and I was gearing up for it. I was nervous and was like, I don’t know if I could physically do this or spend this day away from my kids on the weekend because time is so limited. And I went, and it was amazing. And, talking to these other moms who also carved out time for their own adventure as a part of their mental health maintenance and life maintenance was inspiring. And it was so wonderful. And so that was February. And I think the next type I did without my kids was in July. So, again, many months later, and again, it was, Oh, right, I love this. And this is fulfilling. And I want to do this more. And hopefully, in a couple years, my kids would be able to hike those things with me. And I’d love to have them come with me if their legs could handle it. If we weren’t stopping for snacks, every five steps. And then, from there, it was the fall of 2020. Fall is kind of when I started hiking alone more regularly. We kind of play it by ear for the most part and see how the week goes and how the weekend is looking. And make sure that there is a reciprocal agreement for my partner (or my spouse) to have his time alone or do something else that’s important to him. I know right now, options are very limited for that sort of thing. But you know, pre-2020, if he was gonna grab dinner with a friend after work, I wouldn’t say no, that’s impossible, how dare you take care of yourself and your social needs that way? Right? That I understand that when other people ask – when he’s asking for that space, or that time or the capacity to like, do something that lets him feel fulfilled? It’s not a burden on me because I know what’s important to him. Right? And, and I know that’s important for friends or other moms in my life. So why wouldn’t I? I asked for that for myself.

Tiffany 16:37
Yeah, there’s got to be some given take, too, right? Obviously, we need to take time for ourselves. And I think moms are more guilty about not taking it, but it doesn’t mean that dads don’t need it. We all need that space away from everyone else. And I think even more so right now. Because the reality is like, I know that I’m home with my kids pretty much 24 seven right now. And my social life pretty much is each other right now. Like we’ve seen a few people outdoors on a few outdoor activities. But other than that, it’s been pretty much just us. And so my husband gets a mini-break at work. But it’s work really a break? So like you really – it has to be give and take – like his thing is always snowboarding, and so he’s he has snuck away and gotten a few solo snowboard days this year. I’m not gonna lie, which has been really great for him, but because he’s very good about taking the opportunity when it comes, especially when there’s fresh out, right? Like, it’s like, oh, “Can I go now?”

And, Yes, you’re gonna take that opportunity, right? But um, there definitely has to be give and take. I love that you’re paying attention to that, too. And so, I know, you said that you were meeting with a group at the beginning. Are you still meeting with that group? Or you’re primarily going by yourself most of the time now?

Lydia 17:43
Yeah. So the group that I met, in the beginning, was Adventure Mamas Initiative has a local Facebook group just based on the regions. So I joined their New England regional Facebook group. I highly recommend any moms out there who are interested in the outdoors find their regional Facebook group. Because there are some events, but they’re also other resources. And it has been a great place to find other hikes or camping spots, or just the camaraderie of other women who love the outdoors, who also have happened to have kids, right. So I have done a lot of hiking alone. Occasionally, I’ve met up with friends, and hiking with other friends is wonderful. But partly because most of my plans are relatively last minute where it’s like you’re playing it weekend by weekend for a lot of the fall. I was hiking alone once every two to three weeks. So like every other weekend or every third weekend, I’d have one weekend day to hike alone. So yeah, because we play it kind of by ear because everyone’s, you know, everything is up in the air. And especially with kids, you know, you never know when people are gonna have like a really hard day or my kids are going to have a really hard day or he’s gonna have a really hard day at work and not want to be solo with them all day, Saturday or Sunday. And especially hiking in the mountains. I mean, I’m not a beginner, but I’m also not like a mountaineer. So playing it by ear, depending on the weather. I’ve definitely canceled hikes because the weather looks sketchy.

Tiffany 19:17
I think that’s super smart. Because I am kinda in the same category, right? Definitely not a beginner, but I’m not a mountaineer. And so there are times where we have done the same thing as a family too. We’re looking at it going, “I just don’t know if this is the best scenario for today like this; these conditions may not be the best.” And that kind of segues into the next thing I wanted to kind of ask you or ask you about and is so going by yourself, you know, the question of safety always comes up. So can you share with us a little bit about some of the things that you do to help make sure that you’re safe as far as weather conditions are and even, you know, just hiking by yourself? I know there’s always some trepidation with going out without other people. What are some of the things that you do when you’re going by yourself that might be different from when you’re going with your entire family to help you feel comfortable?

Lydia 20:07
Sure. One is that my backpack has the 10 essentials, that’s all the time. I always send the trail route and trailhead to my husband before going and give him an estimated time. Basically, what time I’m going to leave in the morning before he wakes up, and what time I should probably be at the trailhead. And what time I should probably be done with the hike, and then what time I should probably be home. To kind of have some sort of plan so that he has a better understanding of when to expect me. And maybe it’s because of where I’m hiking that I don’t feel quite as nervous safety-wise, because even though it is the mountains, it’s a relatively small area, and it’s relatively populated. And even in the winter, the trails are insanely busy. So I hiked with a friend this past Sunday. And that was the first time that I’ve ever been on one of these trails where we didn’t see anyone else. Yes. So the majority of the time, even though I’m starting early, I’m usually not the first person at a trailhead. And usually, there’s never a time (besides this last Sunday, which I think is because it’s like getting into spring-like slushy snow and mud and yuckiness) that there weren’t that many people out there. But besides that, I always see at least one or two dozen other people on the trail, even when it’s snowy and five degrees.

Tiffany 21:43
You would say that if somebody maybe doesn’t live in an area that’s quite like that if they were going on their own and maybe feeling a little uncomfortable, am I hearing that you would suggest maybe picking a hike that is a little bit more well-trafficked? Like I know, when we go with our family, we often opt for ones that are lightly or not trafficked, or not even on all trails, to try to avoid crowds, right. But that totally makes sense. If you’re going by yourself, though, because then you know, if something happens if you fall, if you know, who knows what happens, right? Like if you come up, you’re gonna come across other people on the trail that can, you know, give you a hand if need be.

Lydia 22:18
Totally, I think that generally either if I if I’m hiking, without my spouse, and my kids – or even without my kids, I tend to choose trails that are in that like moderate to high traffic ranking on All Trails, as opposed to the light traffic or no traffic at all, at least in the White Mountains. In New Hampshire. There seems like there’s always people around you. Yeah, it’s a big mountainous area. But there are a lot of people who love to recreate there. So they’re always people.

Tiffany 22:50
Yeah, no, I think it’s very much the same way here. Like Actually, we all it’s been rare that we’ve had a trial where we have seen no one, we almost always see somebody, right. But we try to avoid the super highly trafficked trails because here in the Pacific Northwest, the really well-known trails get really, really busy, especially on the weekends. And so we try to avoid those a lot of the time on the weekends and try to sneak them in other times if we can. But even when we think we found like this, you know, a diamond in the rough oftentimes will still run into one or two other people like even if we’re like, hey, this trail so far out, nobody knows about this trail. Yeah, usually there’s somebody – it’s very rare to find one that has no one. I think we’ve only had one or two times where we’ve actually hiked and seen no one. So that’s a really great tip.
I love that. Are there any other things that you typically do? I know you said you take the 10 Essentials. And for those who aren’t super familiar with those, and we won’t get into all of that today, cuz that could be a whole other episode on its own. But I do have a link about hiking gear and those things on our blog. So make sure to put that in the show notes because it includes the 10 essential. So if you’re not quite sure what all that entails, we’ll drop that in there. But are there other things that you do besides those things? I know you said you do the 10 Essentials, and you make sure you let your husband know where you’re at. So he knows if you aren’t showing up when you’re supposed to, he knows to call in the call and resources. You’re picking your trails that are relatively populated. Are those kind of the big things that you do.

Lydia 24:08
That’s the big, the big-ticket items for me. I know some people would even leave their trail route in their car. I think I would do for anything over the out and back or like the little loop trails that I’m doing that are just, you know, a couple hours or, you know, even up to eight hours.

Tiffany 24:29
Yeah, when you’re on a trail that’s pretty much like, here’s the main trailhead, like it’s pretty obvious where you’re going. But if you’re in this huge network of trails, I see where that could be really, really beneficial to have that in your car so that somebody knew which one you were planning on doing, right? And so in the midst of all this, have you ever had, have you ever had a close call when you’ve been out by yourself? Have you ever had something, either a close call or maybe something that where you decided, oh, this is kind of risky, I’m not going to keep going or anything like that any situations where you’ve been kind of like yeah, I don’t know about this.

Lydia 24:58
A couple weeks ago, I was hiking a trail in the White Mountains that links two peaks together. And my plan was to go over to the second peak, and I got up to the first peak, and the wind was just so high. And it was, I mean, it was cold, but not the coldest that I’ve felt out there. But just there were some ominous-looking clouds and really strong winds. And I had read about how the trail from the ridgeline trail that links those two mountains together gets even more wind and can feel more treacherous than other sections of that trail. So I just decided to call it and not cross the ridgeline. And I know that other people went across to that second mountain that day. And, probably people did it either before I did it in the morning, or even or after I did it. And maybe if I was hiking with someone else who had a ton of experience, or I was more confident. Or even if I had met other people at the summit of the first mountain who were planning to go over there, I might have started down that path. But, I just decided that it was one was enough; it was great. And I can hike down. And we’ll try that other second peak another time.

Tiffany 26:17
Well, and I think that’s a super hard thing to do sometimes, right? But it’s really smart. Because if you aren’t confident, that tends to be – or if you’re not sure if you are ready for it – that tends to be when people end up getting hurt, right? Or when something bad does end up happening. And I know in snowboarding there’s always this thing. Like never call the last run, right? Because every time you’re like, “I’m gonna do one more, I’ve got one more.” Inevitably, that’s when you’re gonna fall; that’s when you’re gonna break something. That’s when tragedy is gonna strike. And so it’s like this unwritten rule, don’t call last run. When you stop, and you’re feeling really great. And you’re pretty, pretty exhausted. You’re just like, Alright, it was a good day, and you walk off the mountain, and you call it a day. And like, I think that’s the same thing about knowing yourself and knowing at what point you really should just say, “You know what, I’m not feeling 100% about this right now. And the mountain is always going to be here, I can always come back and try again.” There’s nothing that says I’m a failure if I didn’t actually finish. I still had a huge accomplishment today, right? I not only climbed one mountain peak but got out here by myself. So that’s huge. And so you already accomplished major goals. And, I think that’s one of those things that sometimes we can get caught up in. “Oh, but I said I was gonna do this whole thing.” And it happens with kids, too. Sometimes we’re like, I want to do this hike. And it’s like, we anticipated that everybody’s attitude would be better that day. And sometimes we have to turn around and call it right. Sometimes we’ve done 10-mile hikes, and sometimes two miles is a whine-fest the whole time. And so sometimes, you just have to call it and realize that this may not be the day, whether it’s weather dependent, or you know, or attitude dependent when the kids are along – or whatever the case may be. Knowing when to call it can really it’s tough sometimes to do, but I think it’s really smart.

Lydia 27:54
Yeah, absolutely. And if there’s part of me, that was like, you know, I made all this effort to carve out this time and be out here by myself. And like I drove all this way, you know, to drive an hour and 45 minutes and then to hike up the one mountain to get to the second one. And like feeling like yeah, like that was a failure in some way. But that in itself isn’t a waste, right? That like that time wasn’t wasted. Just because I didn’t get to the second to call it right or when you’re out with your family, like even two miles of a whine-fest isn’t, it can feel terrible sometimes. But it’s still not a waste.

Tiffany 28:33
No, it’s not. And I think I would even like to contend that instead of a failure. It’s more of a win because you learned you also listened to your intuition. And I think when we get into trouble is when we stop listening to our intuition that tends to be like when those really bad things are gonna happen, right? Like when we actually are suddenly like, yeah, I’m gonna do it anyway. So I think that’s super smart. Okay, I think on that note, that is a really good point to end on to is that listening to your intuition and stopping, especially when you’re on a solo adventure when you feel your gut telling you this may not be the best scenario, is a great thing. And it’s not a failure. It is a win. You got out, you adventured, and you had an amazing time. And that alone is huge. Are there any other pieces of advice you would give to moms who are thinking about venturing into solo adventure? Maybe if they haven’t done it before, they’ve only done it once or twice, and they really haven’t gone very far with it? And they really want to kind of stretch their limits a little bit.

Lydia 28:34
I think thing one would be just make a plan, make the commitment to yourself and put something on paper. Pick a date and commit to it. And I think it’ll keep rolling from there. Because once you get out and have that time and space to yourself, especially if it’s something you love to do before kids, or you like to do with your kids. At least I know for myself that now I like can’t stop trying to do these sorts of things – bigger mountain hikes every chance I can get. If you can make a commitment with a friend, to have someone else who holds you accountable to stick to the plan. And that’s great, too. I think that if I hadn’t done that first snowshoe hike with a group of other women, I’d probably still be saying like, “Oh, yeah, I should really get out myself.” And do it. That’s more than, you know, two miles. Yeah, just start somewhere. You have to start, right.

Tiffany 30:30
Yeah, I love that. And I think that’s exactly what I need to be doing – making a plan with somebody else who’s gonna keep me accountable. Because I’m really in that boat of like, “I should make this happen.” And then not making it happen. I need to actually do it. I love that.

Lydia 30:43
And the other thing, I mean, the other thing that I found surprising was that that. Well, number one, my kids are fine because they’re just fine when I was gone. And when I came back, they were so excited to see me and hear about what I did and my experience. And they needed that space from me too. They see my spouse go to work every day. And they’re ecstatic when he gets home. And they don’t have that separation from me right now. So, you know, I know that they’re taking care of, but I don’t need to worry about that guilt that they’re gonna be like, they’re not like pining for me. Right? They’re having a blast. And when I get home, they’re super excited to see me. Yeah.

Tiffany 31:26
Yeah, that’s a great reminder, too, because I think that’s really easy to get into feeling guilty if you’re not the one there to do it, but they’re totally going to be fine. And in fact, yes, oftentimes even more excited to see you when you come home. So I love that. One of the things we like to ask everybody is – and we kind of maybe already covered this – but is there something you wish you’d known sooner about adventuring by yourself? Something you wish maybe somebody had told you or something you just like, wish you had realized that has been really impactful for you.

Lydia 31:56
I mean, I think a lot of the stuff that we’ve talked about is just that, like, I, I do deserve it, right? I do deserve this time to fill my heart with something that I love, that it makes me a better parent and partner to have that space and be doing something that I deeply care about. That obviously, my kids are fine. And that any of the like home things or adventure things that we would do together or like chores, they’re all going to be there. And I don’t need to feel guilty about not doing something for someone else for that small period of time while I’m taking care of myself.

Tiffany 32:34
So good. So good.

Lydia 32:35
Yes. Yeah, just start. Just do it.

Tiffany 32:40
I love it. I love it. And lastly, is there a piece of gear or something you couldn’t do without that really was like a game-changer for you when it comes to whether solo adventures or even family adventure? Something that you’re like, “Oh, my goodness, I wish I would have had this six years ago!” Or five years ago. Your oldest is five, right?

Lydia 32:59
Yeah, he’s four. He turns five in a couple weeks. I don’t know. I mean, there’s lots of stuff that’s handy. But honestly, I don’t know if there’s anything that’s so life-changing that you have to have that one thing. I mean, we started out – we still have – a lot of the stuff we have is hand me down, used, bought off of Craigslist or Facebook marketplace. Or like the wrong fit. I only recently upgraded from a $10 day pack “Amazon choice” backpack to like a real hiking day pack. Which you know, that was helpful for the solo hike for going on longer hikes. But I mean, just start. Just start where you’re at and see what you need.

Tiffany 33:46
I think that’s a tip all in itself, right? That you can start – gear is awesome. But you can also start with what you have, for the most part. I mean, obviously, the 10 Essentials are an important piece, but like those are a lot of those things are pretty simple. You probably have something that works around the house. If not, you know, there are very inexpensive options for everything. So I think that’s a really great tip too. And I know that for us, one thing that really was kind of fun – and it was silly, right? Like it wasn’t even like a fancy backpack or anything, to begin with. But when we first started giving our kids their own backpacks – they would be empty with like one granola bar and maybe like a stuffed animal that they had to take with them for the hike. And I can’t tell you how their attitudes changed. They were so excited to have their own backpack because they felt so special. And it was nothing. They just had, like their Walmart backpack or their Target backpack that grandma had bought them, to begin with. And it didn’t matter because it just was a fun thing for them. So I think that’s a really great tip to end on is that you can just start with what you have. And, fill in as you go. Start small and continue to grow your gear and grow your adventures as you do it. I love it. Well, thank you so much, Lydia, for joining us today. I am so stoked to share this topic because clearly, it’s one that I need to work on myself. But I think it’s really good for all of us to remember that we really do have to take the time for ourselves, first and foremost, so that we can be there for all the other adventures. So thanks.

Lydia 35:14
Exactly. Thank you so much for having me. I like I said, I can talk about this talk about adventuring forever.

Tiffany 35:22
Okay, Lydia, and thanks again for joining us today. And you tell everybody where we can connect with you and where we can find you.

Lydia 35:29
Sure, I am on Instagram at My Adventure Gang. And I do have a blog, which is myadventuregang.com – although don’t judge me by it because it’s very old and outdated. I’ve put more work into adventuring than actually updating the blog.

Tiffany 35:48
That’s ultimately the goal, right is to adventure. Well, awesome, thank you so much.

Lydia 35:54
Thanks for having me.

Tiffany 35:55
Thanks for coming on. Thanks again to Lydia from My Adventure Gang for joining us on the podcast today. It was a lot of fun talking with you. And now I’m even more motivated to try to make my own solo adventures happen. So I just wanted to leave you guys with a few takeaways from our conversation.

First and foremost, if you are craving solo adventure, remember that you deserve it, schedule it, make it happen, trade-off with a partner with a friend with your spouse for childcare and make it happen.

Secondly, if you’re having trouble making it happen, or following through with that, find your crew. So Lydia found that her first time going without the kids and without her spouse was made much easier by joining in another crew of adventure mamas who really love to go out and do things in nature. And so she mentioned that she found her moms on adventuremamas.com, and in a Facebook group, found her local community and was able to coordinate to go with a meetup with them. So I encourage you to check that out. I actually have joined our local Facebook group here. And I’m hoping to join a meetup when things start to open up a little bit.

And last but not least, safety measures. There are a few things that Lydia always does to make sure that she feels comfortable going out on the trail and whether she’s by herself or whether she’s even with just her kids. And three of those things are carrying the 10 Essentials, which you should do no matter what, whether you’re going with someone else or not. And if you don’t know what those are, I’ll make sure to put a link in the show notes so you can find out more details. And secondly, she makes sure that she always leaves her route or trailhead information with her spouse. And that’s a great idea to do we try to do that as well to let somebody know where we’re going. And including your expected return time. That way, if you don’t show up or you haven’t said, Hey, we’re back home or safe, then somebody can let the proper people know so that they can come check out everything and make sure that you’re okay.
And last but not least, she likes to choose relatively populated trails. That way, if something does happen, she’s not out there way, way out in the wilderness all by herself. And she knows that somebody is going to be coming along the trail before too long, and that makes her feel a lot more comfortable. Figure out what you need to feel safe and to take those precautions and make it happen. And thanks again for joining us today, Stoke Fam. We’re so excited to be showing up in your ears each week. If you’re enjoying the show, we would be so so grateful if you would take just a moment and give us a rating and review in iTunes. That’s going to help us grow so we can reach more people and continue to bring more awesome guests to you. That’s it for today. Adventure more, stress less, and we’ll see you out there.